Love??

A stranger left her with this piece of song that she held so dear.

I'm so childish, a little bit wildish
With my rumdiddlyumdiddlyumdiddly, I'm so deep

Well I'm so garish, a little unfairish
The way I pick you up, and drop you in a heap

I'm so unfaithful, in fact I'm a plateful
I won't kiss her, but I'll stare her up all night

I'm a stormy little singer, an unstable little swinger
If you're coming, come prepared for a fight

Well I'm so childish, a little bit wildish
With my rumdiddlyumdiddlyumdiddly, I'm so deep

Well I'm so uncaring, do far too much swearing
And if you read through my behaviour, you'll find I'm a creep

I'll play a stormer, yet in the corner
I'll be grumpy on my own, like I don't care

I'm a stormy little singer, an unstable little swinger
With a big rip, in the arsehole of my flares

Well I'm so childish, a little bit wildish
With my rumdiddlyumdiddlyumdiddly, I'm so mad

I'm so truthful, a little bit bruteful
But in sooth I know not, why I am so sad

I try my bestest, well as far the restest
Well it's just stuff that comes out wrong, and gets misunderstood

I'm a dandy little dreamer, a doctored misdemeanour
A didactic destiny schemer, bare with me if you would 

-Damien Rice

song- Childish

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YrXh4gby6U

One fine day, as she was humming this...

...........I won't kiss her, but I'll stare her up all night..........

the phone beeped.

There was a message from someone she had come to know lately with the three most popular words in the world.

You say that You love me...

How easy it was to say for you...

Ever wondered what effect did these three words cast on me?

You will always believe that I am an empty quiver, a feeling devoid soul. I dint respond to your heart out in a positive way.

May be, I could never ever express, neither by my words nor my silence that there's a sunshine girl in me too.

'I will not kiss but will stare her up all night.'

You say You love me, But would you be this childish?

You say you love me , But were you by my side when I was fighting both outside and inside?

You never saw me in my struggles, may be they were too complex or too simple for you to be bothered.

But you said you love me, then should not my struggles, have been yours too?

Yes, you may have an argument, that I wanted you to grow and learn to face the world yourself..But you said you love me, just to lemme be alone ?

So why should I believe that I could have loved you when you yourself wanted me to learn to be alone?

I feel for that stranger more than for you, for he did not promise me Love.

Note- Fiction smells pleasant and tastes delicious when you can concoct two or more stories. ;-)

My First Wish: Leave Job

How I wish that I could Leave my Job!

Its not that I am incapable of leaving job.

Having made my mind firmly on quitting the job, I sensed signals from God that I shouldn't.

I was seeing KBC where people from humble backgrounds, who have led their whole life in struggle, come and win just because they relied on the most strongest pivot a human can have, Knowledge.

I had to contemplate on this. Knowledge, it isn't about how strong your GK is.
It comprises of your common sense, analytical skills and decision making abilities. I tried rating my skills.
All my decision making abilities vanished completely the day I joined my first job. One colleague quipped on seeing me smiling, 'Dont smile in office, people think you haven't got any work.'
I could just say 'People here are Morons! They dont need any more displays to strengthen my hitherto assumption.' Staying happy and smiling often, means you have not been given enough workload! Gawd!

It could be due to achievement of some target or may be I would have understood something new or I would have had my friend or family call me up for some good news or may be I would have just felt like smiling. Huh!

'Muskurane Pe Bhi Dard Hota Hai'

Muje to nahi hota, baki sabhi ko na jaane meri muskurahat se kaunsa aur kahan kahan dard hota hai!
And I spent all my 23 years of life believing that I had a lovable smile that could make anyone happy!

It was my decision to get out of home and start my career with a job that would pay me handsomely, not equivalent to MBAs or  IITians, but a decent enough start for me. I wanted to be independent, wanted to get my mobile recharged with my money, wanted to shop(I have always been shopaholic) even more. I had no other big expectations. But what I have ended up is, I recharge my mobile number online but have stopped shopping. All the initial excitement of a job had metamorphosed into a completely dull, monotonous affair where I have come to consider that this is all Moh-Maaya. I fear becoming a saint and vanishing off to a far off place.

But they say God only guides, its for us to walk on that path to reach our destination. I have postponed my decision for some days right now in a hope to revive my true self and start afresh. I have been insipired today by KBC contestants (thanks to them!)who have bravely faced the traumas of life, have overcome them heroically and will carry on their lives with as much grace, poise, determination and humility as before, even after winning amounts that are equal to many times I save from my salary.

Hope this last attempt of mine at finding peace at work and enjoyment too bears fruit.